The Lunch Box: Gratitude emanates from adversity
By: Deborah Schroeder
April 27, 2026
During our child-rearing years, April became a special month. It was in the month of April an Ingham County court judge finalized the adoptions of three of our four children. In 1976, two brothers ages 6 and 11 joined our family. In 1977, a little girl age 3, and from another family, also became a “Schroeder”. To recognize the unique way God put our family together, we set aside a day in April each year to celebrate “Adoption Day”. Then in July of 1978, the Lord blessed us with a daughter by birth. This prompted our younger son to caution us about using the term “Adoption Day”.
“This baby will already feel odd because she wasn’t adopted like the rest of us,” our son exclaimed. “If we celebrate our adoption, she will feel left out.” Wise words coming from a young child. So, we renamed our celebration to “Family Day”. Our desire was to instill in them the words of Psalm 139:15-16. God knew His good plan for them before they even existed. Coming into our family was part of His good plan.
Considering what we knew about their early years, we wanted our sons to have hope. Living with their biological parents and two older sisters, these two boys consistently endured parental neglect. Concerned neighbors observed the children living at home for days at a time without parental supervision. The neglect was finally reported to Child Services. After years placing the boys in and out of foster care, it was apparent no parental improvement was coming. The court had no recourse but to terminate parental rights. Our boys were too young to comprehend why a judge would make such a ruling. In the early weeks with them, I knew the neglect charge had to be true. Our older son would pay close attention to the quantity of food for each meal. One evening as I was placing dinner on the table, he noted, “There are five pork chops and four of us. That means somebody gets two pork chops.” My husband replied, “I can only eat one. Your mom and brother will each eat one. We’re hoping you might be able to eat an extra pork chop.” Similarly, our younger son would make himself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, put them on a paper plate, sneak them up to his bedroom, and slide the plate under his bed. I would find various stale sandwiches under his bed when I cleaned their room. I knew it would take time for both of them to realize food would always be provided.
I typically packed school lunches for the boys the night before. The filled lunch boxes were then stored in the refrigerator. Each morning, I would set out the two lunch boxes on the kitchen counter for the boys to take with them to school. When they came downstairs for breakfast, our youngest son, a first grader, would ritually open the lid of his lunch box to examine its contents. My initial assumption was that he must be checking to see if I packed foods he liked. He never said anything. He just opened the lid, looked inside, closed the lid, and sat down for breakfast.
It wasn’t until the end of the school year that I learned what he was doing. His teacher asked the students to write a thank-you note to their mothers. This activity marked the culmination of learning to read and write that year. She was putting some of their accomplishments on display with this kind gesture. Our son promptly delivered his note to me as he was instructed. Here’s what he said:
Dear Mom,
Thank you for packing my lunch this year. You put food in my lunch box every day I went to school. You never missed a day all year! Thank you. I love you. Marty
Didn’t see that coming! So unaccustomed to having a parent provide for his basic needs, he was touched that his lunch box was filled with food every school day! I immediately pondered whether I had ever thanked my mom in a similar way. I knew one thing: my husband and I never experienced the adversity this 6-year-old boy had endured in his early years!
While child abandonment is a very serious issue, there is truth that emerges here. Gratitude emanates from adversity. This young boy delighted in receiving one of life’s basic needs—food—because he had endured periods of time without it. We are seldom grateful when life cruises along, the waters are calm, and the sun warms our faces. It’s when the storms hit that we begin to appreciate the blessings God provides. We become joyfully grateful.
Why is gratitude important? Gratitude reminds us that God is the good and gracious provider in our lives. It is from His merciful hand that we receive all that we have. Gratitude leads us back to the Giver. When our hearts turn back to the Giver and His Word, God’s perspective emerges.
Let’s see how this plays out in God’s Word.
Examples from the Word
Joseph. Adversity began when he was 3 years old. His mother died giving birth to his younger brother. His father favored Joseph over his other sons, which infuriated his older half-brothers. In fact, they hated Joseph and the special place he held in their father’s heart. That hatred propelled them to find a way to be rid of Joseph permanently. They sold him into Egyptian slavery. He was purchased by a man named Potiphar who charged him with the responsibility of managing his household. Potiphar’s pampered wife looked for a little excitement, and tried repeatedly to seduce Joseph. After repeatedly fighting off her advances, she distorted the truth. She informed her husband Joseph tried to seduce her. Potiphar did not hesitate to throw Joseph in prison. There he stayed for two years. Adversity does come to an end at a given point. That day came as Joseph was released from prison and rose to the level of second in command under Pharoah. Then a famine forced Joseph’s brothers to travel to Egypt in search of food for their household. And Joseph comes face-to-face with his family once again.
As his adversity came to an end, God gave Joseph a fresh perspective. “You intended to harm me,” he said to his brothers, “but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20).1
Gratitude emanates from adversity as God provides a new lens through which to view the difficult period that took place in our lives.
Asaph. Another example comes from the writer of Psalm 73. Asaph was filled with self-pity as he compared his life with the lives of unbelievers in his midst. “…My feet almost slipped out from under me. I almost lost my footing. I even envied the arrogant when I observed the peace of the wicked (verses 2-3). He compared his life of hardship with the arrogance of his unbelieving neighbors who mocked the power and authority of God. Life is so easy for them, Asaph believed, while his life was filled with pain and difficulty.
But then Asaph went to the sanctuary of God. As the Word of the Lord came to him, Asaph understood God’s perspective and said: “Yet I am always with you. You hold me by my right hand. With your guidance you led me, and afterward, you will take me to glory. Who else is there for me in heaven? And besides you, I desire no one else on earth. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the rock of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:23-26). God’s counsel had overcome his folly, and would guide him through all the pitfalls of life.2
Job. The final example comes from this well-known account of a man named Job. Imagine Job’s story occurring today. “Breaking news” intrudes the endless list of social media noise to announce the tragic loss of children, home, property, possessions, health, reputation, and social prominence. “Then and Now” photos would go viral as the world views the downhill slide for a man who enjoyed wealth and prosperity to one slumped on a city sidewalk. Another homeless person soiling the community. You become stunned at the horrific scene on the news video. This once powerful member of society scrapes at the boils on his dried-out skin with a piece of broken glass while his nagging wife screeches that it’s time to curse God and die (Job 1-2:10). Then comments begin pouring in on social media. “Job must have screwed up big time to take a dive like that!” “Well, I am NOT contributing to a Go-Fund-Me campaign for Job! Let him see how the rest of the world has to live for a while.” “His wife really stuck it to him. Is anybody in his camp?”
Although we may feel as if adversity is going to envelop us for the rest of our lives, it does have an end point. God allows adversity for developmental purposes (James 1:2-4). Job testifies that his ordeal with adversity brought him closer to God (Job 42:5). Job had only heard of God, but now Job has seen God with eyes of faith and spiritual understanding. He can, therefore, accept God’s plan for his life—which includes suffering.3
Early life experiences—even hardships—lay the foundation for the plan God has for us.
And the Lord gave me the opportunity to learn through a little six-year-old boy that gratitude emanates from adversity. And gratitude is important because it steers us back to the Giver! As we draw closer to the Giver, the Word of God fills us with His perspective.
References
1Concordia Self-Study Bible (NIV), International Bible Society, Zondervan Publishing House, 1984, p. 82.
2Ibid. Pp. 860-861.
3Ibid. P. 778.
